Hose Monster Blog

6.28.2002

Last week I wanted to talk about hooking up in fun places. I only got one response, but it was a solid entry.

As a service to my three readers, I will now detail some of my favorite personal hook-ups. And KSwans, I do not have too much time on my hands.

In college, at a sleepover, sharing an air mattress with four other people in the room. I remember this one fondly. Might have been the first time I ever thought that I might be good at the physical arts. Maybe.

While Uncle Buck was playing on the TV. There's no aphrodisiac quite like the image of a bowling ball hitting John Candy on the head. Inexplicable.

At 623 West Belden. Where Janie and I started it all. I'm such a softie. But I do adore that girl.

In Denmark, in an ice rink, inside the snack bar with a young Danish girl who spoke no English. I remember we were inside this snack bar with the curtain drawn, and I was noticing how even though Kit Kat in Europe is the same as Kit Kat in the US that the packaging is different, I suddenly found myself engaged with a young Danish blond.

I speak no Danish, she spoke no English, so we pretty much relied on body language. She told she was 16, and she looked every bit of it. I was 17 at the time. A week later, when she accompanied me to the airport and bid me farewell, she told me that she was really 14. Mortifying. I don't even have a joke here. Moving on.

In Spain, in an empty bar, dancing to Elvis Crespo. This night may also go down as the dumbest in my life. I had been chasing this girl in Spain for months. Then she's hitting me over the head with signs and I'm too dumb to figure it out until two weeks later. When I was on the other side of the pond.

Right after I fell off a swingset and hit my head really hard. I never knew the Florence Nightengale effect could be so strong. Too bad it was not intentional. One of the smoother moments of my life.

Those are some of my favorites. I'm a boring person. Tell me how much more exciting your hook-ups are. The winner will be taken to lunch by yours truly.


This week's honorary Hose Monster: No One Dan the Goose Tom from Orby Online "The Ultimate Renaissance Man" -Kool Keith "I heart hosemonster" -Fat Sarah "Hose Monster = Hero" "The king of political talk" "The voice of reason in all this chaos" -The Ward "A lot of sense" -Orby Online "Writing so good it should be illegal or at least expensive" -Mad Little Ponies Her Meeshness interviews the Hose Monster Another Hose Monster interview with a beautiful girl 80 things about the Hose Monster 20 things about the Hose Monster All Archives Bathroom Conversations Cell Phones Piss Cabin Flushing Magazines Cold Toilet Nohr Nohr 1 Nohr 2 She Inspires Me Old Flames Blue Thong Rain Saturday Morning More Rain Waking Dream Tony Pierce Ultrablognetic Meeshness Moxie Jam Sandwhich Off-Wing Opinion Dan the Goose Mad Pony Ham Fisted Theatrics E-mail Me	6.28.2002 Last week I wanted to talk about hooking up in fun places. I only got one response, but it was a solid entry. As a service to my three readers, I will now detail some of my favorite personal hook-ups. And KSwans, I do not have too much time on my hands. In college, at a sleepover, sharing an air mattress with four other people in the room. I remember this one fondly. Might have been the first time I ever thought that I might be good at the physical arts. Maybe. While Uncle Buck was playing on the TV. There's no aphrodisiac quite like the image of a bowling ball hitting John Candy on the head. Inexplicable. At 623 West Belden. Where Janie and I started it all. I'm such a softie. But I do adore that girl. In Denmark, in an ice rink, inside the snack bar with a young Danish girl who spoke no English. I remember we were inside this snack bar with the curtain drawn, and I was noticing how even though Kit Kat in Europe is the same as Kit Kat in the US that the packaging is different, I suddenly found myself engaged with a young Danish blond. I speak no Danish, she spoke no English, so we pretty much relied on body language. She told she was 16, and she looked every bit of it. I was 17 at the time. A week later, when she accompanied me to the airport and bid me farewell, she told me that she was really 14. Mortifying. I don't even have a joke here. Moving on. In Spain, in an empty bar, dancing to Elvis Crespo. This night may also go down as the dumbest in my life. I had been chasing this girl in Spain for months. Then she's hitting me over the head with signs and I'm too dumb to figure it out until two weeks later. When I was on the other side of the pond. Right after I fell off a swingset and hit my head really hard. I never knew the Florence Nightengale effect could be so strong. Too bad it was not intentional. One of the smoother moments of my life. Those are some of my favorites. I'm a boring person. Tell me how much more exciting your hook-ups are. The winner will be taken to lunch by yours truly.