Thanks to the joys of my non-functioning dial up connection here in the Arlington Hilton, room number 523, I find myself prevented from commenting on two interesting news events.

First off, this pledge of allegiance thing is ridiculous. It seems to me that everyone is ignoring a larger point. I really wish our lawmakers would go about the business of refining the infrastructure that makes this nation great instead of just assuming it is and always will be great and forcing their opinion on the children who don’t even know what’s supposed to be happening.

Ask yourself a question: When was the last time you even said the Pledge of Allegiance? Was it before or after you even know what it meant? Or were you just making the sounds you were taught to make before you could even pronounce, let alone understand, the word “indivisible.”

I'm not against saying the Pledge, nor am I adamantly for it. But just for the record, I’m in favor of not having the God part in the Pledge. But if it’s in there … shit man, if you don’t agree with it, then just don’t say it. The Gestapo ain’t going to come knocking on your door that night. That’s your right in this nation of ours, the one whose lawmakers want to spend their time wasting my tax dollars on bullshit instead of focusing on real constituent issues.

This brings up another point. No, I'm not opposed to saying it. But why do we even have a Pledge of Allegiance? Let’s have our young kiddies pledge to be good citizens rather than bowing down to an inanimate object. And while we’re at it, let’s teach the kids what the sounds mean instead of just requiring them to say it every morning before they review their times tables.

As for the Worldcon (I know it's Worldcom, by my way sounds better) sadness of yesterday, I regrettably cannot go educate myself on CNN at this moment. But Newsweek has done a wonderful job telling me this week that I should be up in arms over all the scandals going on in corporate America. As a current member of that group, I cannot say too much without being hypocritical, so I will be political.

But the company's response to the revelation that they misreported earnings by only a few billion dollars? Dismiss 10,000 low level employees. Right, get rid of those people who were clearly responsible for the misrepresentation of earnings and are clearly not out there just trying to make a buck and put some grub on the tables of their families. Makes sense to me.

This ends my political rant for the evening. I will now watch The Mind of the Married Man, one of the funniest damn shows I have ever seen.