Dear City of Chicago:

I like you very much. Especially in the summer. Your women are beautiful, your food is superb, your outdoor pursuits are something to experience, and your Old Style is tolerable, especially when enjoyed in a frosty glass from Meier's Tavern on Lake in Winnetka.

However, your "street cleaning" and parket ticket procedures are complete and utter shit.

You inform me at least weekly that I cannot park my vehicle on certain sides of the street near my apartment building because of street cleaning. I comply and do not park my vehicle in these restricted areas. Sometimes this costs me some time, but as a good citizen, I observe these restrictions. I also do not care for paying parking fines or fearing that you have towed my poor vehicle away.

When I return home from work, I notice the street has not been cleaned. But the vehicles left in the street cleaning area have received parking tickets.

My neighbors and I appreciate honesty. Instead of posting signs that say "Street Cleaning," please change the text of the signs to read "Shameless Revenue Generation."

The larger question I need to ask is why you need to so shamelessly generate this revenue. I know running a city as prominent as you requires a lot of money, but have you looked at your sales tax figures lately? The residents of Cook County pay exorbitant sales taxes to purchase goods. I don't like the high rates, but if that is the cost of living in such a city as you, then I understand and I begrudgingly accept it.

This morning's debacle was quite another story. Closing off one side of the street is an inconvenience, but I can usually find a place to park my vehicle without too much delay. However, closing off 50% of the streets on one morning in the same area means that we peaceful citizens have to get extremely lucky to find a parking space to avoid your shameless revenue generating.

This morning I drove around for 20 minutes looking for a place to park. One intense headache later and three bus routes away, I finally found one. I was late for work this morning.

I expect each and every one of those restricted parking streets to be clean when I return from work today. If not, you can expect a meaner letter tomorrow.

Sincerely yours,