Good news! Hose Monster left me a cryptic voicemail-- he's alive! And even better than that, he will be back today. Although I'm glad to know that he's safe and sound, I'm sad that I won't get to fill your lives with cheer (?) anymore. But actually, we'll see about that...I'm pretty sure the Blondemaster will be back with a vengeance on her own page quite soon. In the meantime, you guys have been great!

Speaking of great, that is the exact opposite of how I am feeling right now...meaning I feel like hell. I have had problems with insomnia my whole life, but last night was the worst. I didn't fall asleep until this morning (the last time I looked at the clock it said 5:16..yeah, that's right, AM), and my alarm went off at 6. Needless to say, I snoozed until 7, but seriously, that doesn't cut it. This is going to be a loooong day.

So what does one do when they can't fall asleep? First, I played Solitaire on my PalmPilot. That's my usual nighty night ritual because it's mindless, no mind-numbing, and it usually helps a lot. But that didn't work so I wrote in my journal (too bad I left my laptop at work...I was spewing out theories and thoughts like nobody's business. I wrote an entire page about moving to Australia. Go figure.). Then I watched TV...but I don't have cable in my room so TV meant reruns of the news. How many times did I need to hear about Jason Priestly's racing accident? By the way, is it just me, or is it strange that Brandon Walsh drives race cars? Anyways, then I decided that I'd read a boring book and that would for sure knock me out. It always does when I'm not trying to sleep at least. So I go to my bookshelf and pull off Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs and Steel. I never actually intended to read this book, my ex-boyfriend lent it to me once, I feigned interest and said I'd read it (I mean, it won the PULITZER), but then once we broke up (he dumped me on Christmas Day as a matter of fact), I never gave it back out of spite. OK, so I start reading, and get this, it wasn't boring. I mean, it was actually pretty damn interesting. It will probably take me about four years to read, but I think I'll try. You should too so we can talk about his theories of how the world became how it is today. Quite intriguing.

Needless to say, none of my sleep strategies worked, and here I am at work. Happy Monday.

It was a fun fun weekend though. Saturday was a bit out of control though. I went "ho-ing" (a la KSwans) with Cow Girl and KSwans. Cow Girl and I drank a bottle of wine and did a shot of vodka (SICK) before we left and then walked a mile to the El in our skanky heels. My feet were cut and blistery before we hit the dance floor. So what better way to numb the pain than with drinks! But overall, I knew the night was a "success" (at least to those around me) when I made out with some bald guy from Malta named Anthony (I have nice friends, don't I?), and I refused to take a cab home with Cow Girl because I was convinced her and the cab driver were lying to me about which way was north. It was a conspiracy! I, in fact, screamed at them for being stupid liars, and climbed over Cow Girl to get out the cab and into my own, which would certainly know which way north was. Yeah, my cabby knew all right...and he mysteriously drove me the same way Cow Girl had pointed (well, that's what she tells me at least, I couldn't really tell much at that point). Dammit! So I don't remember anything else but I woke up the next morning missing $60 and my drivers license (the people at the DMV know me by name by now). Ugh. Yes, definitely a success.

In other news, Will and I have plans TWICE this week...and he asked me to go out tonight too! I said no for tonight, but on Thursday his band is playing (for those in Chicago, let Hose Monster and I know...we'll be signing autographs at the bar), so I'll be seeing him then (his semi-virgin quality is entirely lost when he's on stage and singing like a sexy rock star), and then he asked me to go with him to Ravinia (an awesome outdoor concert venue) this Saturday. I said yes because I love Ravinia but I think I'm going to get drunk and ask him what the hell is going on. Either that or I'll kiss him and see if he freaks out. I still don't know how I even feel about him, but it would be nice to know if I can tell him funny stories about Anthony from Malta or not.

OK, well much love to all of you...I promise you'll be hearing from me soon!