The ring of the telephone woke me up rather early this morning. Grumbling, I rolled over and picked it up.

It was my new boss.

Many of you know that in just a short amount of time, I begin my new state of employment as the night watchman at a library. As you can imagine, this is a physically demanding and labor-intensive type of vocation that requires me to be in total focus while I am working. I admit that I am a little nervous about the job, because if my concentration falters for even a moment, something terrible could happen.

Apparently however, this is a common concern among new recruits. As a consequence of this preoccupation, a system of libraries has secretly gained control of a small island in an unknown location and has turned it into a top-secret training ground where recruits go for a week and learn many of the techniques that will help them become top night watchmen.

My new boss called me this morning to tell me to pack a bag and someone would be by to pick me up early this afternoon. He hung up without giving me any more details except to tell no one where I was going or for what reason I was suddenly leaving. I've already broken one of these commandments, but night watchmen, and especially trainers of night watchmen, are generally so busy that I doubt any will have time to check this blog to see my transgression anyway.

So frantically this morning I have been packing a bag and wondering what I will need for my intensive training. As a final step, I placed a call to my sidekick Blondemaster K and told her that in my absence, she would have to take over the blogging duties. I know how important my daily thoughts are to the overall balance of the universe, and I would never purposefully leave the safety of a global population in jeopardy. So I called to make arrangements. And like the true hero she is, Blondemaster K agreed to step up and save the world.

I leave it in her hands. I know not what will happen to me, but I do know one thing that will happen here in the next week. Britney Spears will be metioned in this space at least once. I'll stake my reputation on that.

Cheers, see you in a week.

-The Hose Monster