Important tip: when it's lunchtime, focus on eating your sandwich rather than on the urgency of responding to email. I just spent a solid few minutes cleaning mayonnaise off of my keyboard.

When I was in college, my parents would send me random things through the mail on occasion. One time they sent me this big manila envelope that had bubble wrap lining the inside. When I picked up the package, it felt and sounded like a bunch of marbles rolling around inside. Very puzzled, I started walking back to my room and noticed halfway there that the postage had cost my units about 8 bucks. This considered, I figured this must be something good.

It was five friggin' pounds of Runts candy.

I really like Runts, so initially I was kind of excited, though I was a little puzzled as to why my parents would a: send me this in the first place, and b: why they would send it through the mail, paying more in postage than the bag itself cost. Anyway, the first, oh say half pound, was great. But after half a pound of Willy Wonka goodness, I started getting a little sick of them, and my roomie and I still had 4.5 pounds of candy to put away. So we started going up and down the halls offering candy to anyone we saw. I swear, most of the people to whom we talked must of thought we had laced them with crack or something the way they were eyeing us before politely refusing. It took us quite some time to rid ourselves of the Runts.

While shopping at Sam's Club yesterday, I realized I needed to fill my candy jar. I came home with another five pound bag of Runts.

I'm an idiot.