10.23.2002

 

Do you ever receive those secret crush things in your email? You know what I'm talking about, right? Those services where you can sign up and input email addresses of people on whom you supposedly have a crush, and then those people will receive a notice that someone has a crush on them? Yeah, those.

I think I received my first one of these things my sophomore year of college. Since then I think I've received maybe 15 to 20 of them. Not really a lot, but a fair amount I think. Anyway, I have mixed reactions every time I get one of these things. First of all, it's always extremely flattering to think that someone unknown has decided I have wily charms and digs my action. Never a bad thing for your confidence.

On the other hand, these services piss me off. I'm sure you know that the way they work is that once you receive a notice of a crush, you go to the services and input email addresses of the people you're digging, and if you get a match, they tell you. Seems simple enough. In theory, it works because the service then takes the addresses you inputed and sends them a notice mathing the one you just received. Since you're hoping for a match with your crushes, on its surface it seems like a decent, if quite silly, idea.

The problem of course is that when you get one of these little crush notice, your instinct is not to enter your own crushes into the inquiry fields but to try and ascertain who sent you the notice. And if you've got the balls to go ahead and try that, you run the risk of sending notices to a bunch of random people who you think might dig you, and ugh, it just opens up a whole series of cans of worms.

So you might say that these little crush services kind of irritate me. But don't get me wrong, I really do feel flattered when I get a little crush notice.

Like today, when I found one in my mailbox.

I'm going out on a limb and (this supposes that someone was even digging me and not trying to match me up to something they had already received) guessing that whoever sent me my little love letter did so after reading this blog, because this is the only place I ever really have given out the email address in question.

So... secret admirer, if you're reading...

Send me an email and tell me how sexy you think I am that way. Set up a bogus Hotmail or Yahoo account if you're shy. I don't care if I know who you are. I'd be fine just trading emails with you and thanking you for the love.

Just for the record, I like confident people who take chances. I think it's really sexy.

And for the rest of you, sorry for reading this. I feel like I should make some restitution for this, so let me encourage you to go find your significant other in some normally mundane situation (may I recommend a library), whisper in their ear that you're horny, then walk away shaking your ass for all you got. Trust me, it will break their concentration for a good five minutes. And if you don't have a significant other, test your testicular fortitude by going up to your hottie crush and planting a nice soft kiss on their lips.