To the person who decided it would be a good idea to steal my bicycle seat this afternoon:

Fuck you.

Who steals a bicycle seat? Honestly, what the hell are you going to do with it? Add it to your stolen bike seat collection? I'm already the dorky guy who rides a bright blue and yellow bike to school. Today I was the dorky guy riding a bright blue and yellow bike home from the law library on a Sunday afternoon -- a bike without a seat.

You're a pathetic moron who has no respect for other people. If you were even a good thief, you'd be more ambitious and go for a car, or a bank, or at the very least, the whole bike. What a stupid, petty thing to do. My small consolation comes from the fact that I paid $90 for that bike, so the quality of the seat you got was pretty ghetto. Just like you.