Hose Monster Blog

10.30.2002

You know when you're really cold, but you have to pee, and your hands are frigid, either because you've been outside for a while or the room is really cold or whatever, but you really do have to pee, so you unzip your fly, reach in to pull out the little Hose Monster, and right when you grab it, your cold fingers on the little HM scare you just a bit? Yeah, I hate when that happens too.

Dumbasses quizzes I did before class, courtesy of Dawn "Up Yours and my submissive ass" Olsen.

Nope. Definitely not bisexual. Thank you for trying ;)

Although you only like to eat one kind of meat,

that doesn't mean you are any less of a sexual gourmand.

You just choose only the finest of dicks/breasts

(whichever strikes your particular gender's fancy)

and enjoy them with the style and panache that ideally suits you.

Are *You* Bisexual? Click Here to Find Out!

You Have a Nice Ass!

Oooh, baby can you shake that booty?

With an ass so fine, it's your duty.

Give it a grab, give it a spank.

You're the envy of every skank.

What Ass Do *You* Have??

Your Sex Life's Above Average!

You're sex life is good, but you're no ho,

It takes a while before you're ready to go.

You have more sex than the average joe.

You aren't really fast, but you sure aren't slow.

How Does *Your* Sex Life Compare?

This is what happens when I don't have the energy to write anything thought-provoking. Will try harder next time, I promise.


This week's honorary Hose Monster: No One Dan the Goose Tom from Orby Online "The Ultimate Renaissance Man" -Kool Keith "I heart hosemonster" -Fat Sarah "Hose Monster = Hero" "The king of political talk" "The voice of reason in all this chaos" -The Ward "A lot of sense" -Orby Online "Writing so good it should be illegal or at least expensive" -Mad Little Ponies Her Meeshness interviews the Hose Monster Another Hose Monster interview with a beautiful girl 80 things about the Hose Monster 20 things about the Hose Monster All Archives Bathroom Conversations Cell Phones Piss Cabin Flushing Magazines Cold Toilet Nohr Nohr 1 Nohr 2 She Inspires Me Old Flames Blue Thong Rain Saturday Morning More Rain Waking Dream Tony Pierce Ultrablognetic Meeshness Moxie Jam Sandwhich Off-Wing Opinion Dan the Goose Mad Pony Ham Fisted Theatrics E-mail Me	10.30.2002 You know when you're really cold, but you have to pee, and your hands are frigid, either because you've been outside for a while or the room is really cold or whatever, but you really do have to pee, so you unzip your fly, reach in to pull out the little Hose Monster, and right when you grab it, your cold fingers on the little HM scare you just a bit? Yeah, I hate when that happens too. Dumbasses quizzes I did before class, courtesy of Dawn "Up Yours and my submissive ass" Olsen. Nope. Definitely not bisexual. Thank you for trying ;) Although you only like to eat one kind of meat, that doesn't mean you are any less of a sexual gourmand. You just choose only the finest of dicks/breasts (whichever strikes your particular gender's fancy) and enjoy them with the style and panache that ideally suits you. *Are You* Bisexual? Click Here to Find Out! You Have a Nice Ass! Oooh, baby can you shake that booty? With an ass so fine, it's your duty. Give it a grab, give it a spank. You're the envy of every skank. What Ass Do You Have?? Your Sex Life's Above Average! You're sex life is good, but you're no ho, It takes a while before you're ready to go. You have more sex than the average joe. You aren't really fast, but you sure aren't slow. How Does Your Sex Life Compare?** This is what happens when I don't have the energy to write anything thought-provoking. Will try harder next time, I promise.