Dear Central Illinois Networks:

Screw you.

Actually, perhaps I should apologize. When you say that someone will call me back and I will definitely see someone by the end of the day, I always forget that sort of thing means "We'll completely ignore your situation and give your complaint lip service so you will get off the phone and I can go back to eating Fritos and watching old episodes of 90210 on Fx." My mistake.

And actually, maybe I should be thaking you for encouraging me to use my industry to solve the problem myself. Especially since I am oh-so accomplished at some of the technical things relating to the Information Age (note the *beautiful* design of this page as evidence). So yeah, I got my Internet connection working again this morning, with no help from you.

My bill will be in the mail.

Hose Monster