Hose Monster Blog

12.08.2002

My sophomore year of college, my roommate was bored one night and decided to throw my name into a search engine.

That was the night powerfist.com first came to my knowledge.

Powerfist is run by gay porn star Chris Ward and is part of the fisting web ring. Many years ago, when Adam and I first discovered the site, we had to click on the crotch in a picture of Mr. Ward (who, for fans of The Shawshank Redemption, happened to look eerily similar to the character Boggs. And sadly, this is the first I've noticed the appropriateness of that connection) to enter the site. The next five minutes were among the most disturbing of my life. You might say I was not prepared to see some of those images. You could definitely say I was not prepared to see the name "Chris Ward" repeated over and over again in the captions to those images. Not good times.

Anyway, Adam was apparently bored today and decided to find out what I've been doing these days. I guess I have been quite busy.

Looks like I was running for state representative in Michigan last month on the Republican ticket. Very curious. No word on whether I won or not, but my site seems to be lacking any celebratory message, so I'm guessing things didn't go so well for me. Such is life.

Apparently I've been working to establish a branding consultancy as well. I have no idea why I chose a hippopotamus as the branding tool for my site. Hmm.

On Sundays in the fall I play defensive end for the St. Louis Rams. (For those of you who have asked me why I have never put a picture of myself up before, here's your big chance to see how sexy I am.)

Congratulations go out to me for earning a Disney Teacheriffic Award in 1999. I also should applaud my weekly radio show "Chapel Time" in central Florida. I don't remember studying for my Doctorate of Ministry, but hey, sometimes I forget things.

Looks like I'm also dead, but before dying I published a bunch of papers. My biography was very informative. I had forgotten a lot of that stuff.

According to Adam, I also do beadwork, make fine pine furniture and hold several doctorates in everything from computer science to theology. I'm not one to brag, but yeah, I'm pretty impressed with myself right now.

Thanks for the laugh Adam.


This week's honorary Hose Monster: No One Dan the Goose Tom from Orby Online "The Ultimate Renaissance Man" -Kool Keith "I heart hosemonster" -Fat Sarah "Hose Monster = Hero" "The king of political talk" "The voice of reason in all this chaos" -The Ward "A lot of sense" -Orby Online "Writing so good it should be illegal or at least expensive" -Mad Little Ponies Her Meeshness interviews the Hose Monster Another Hose Monster interview with a beautiful girl 80 things about the Hose Monster 20 things about the Hose Monster All Archives Bathroom Conversations Cell Phones Piss Cabin Flushing Magazines Cold Toilet Nohr Nohr 1 Nohr 2 She Inspires Me Old Flames Blue Thong Rain Saturday Morning More Rain Waking Dream Tony Pierce Ultrablognetic Meeshness Moxie Jam Sandwhich Off-Wing Opinion Dan the Goose Mad Pony Ham Fisted Theatrics E-mail Me	12.08.2002 My sophomore year of college, my roommate was bored one night and decided to throw my name into a search engine. That was the night powerfist.com first came to my knowledge. Powerfist is run by gay porn star Chris Ward and is part of the fisting web ring. Many years ago, when Adam and I first discovered the site, we had to click on the crotch in a picture of Mr. Ward (who, for fans of The Shawshank Redemption, happened to look eerily similar to the character Boggs. And sadly, this is the first I've noticed the appropriateness of that connection) to enter the site. The next five minutes were among the most disturbing of my life. You might say I was not prepared to see some of those images. You could definitely say I was not prepared to see the name "Chris Ward" repeated over and over again in the captions to those images. Not good times. Anyway, Adam was apparently bored today and decided to find out what I've been doing these days. I guess I have been quite busy. Looks like I was running for state representative in Michigan last month on the Republican ticket. Very curious. No word on whether I won or not, but my site seems to be lacking any celebratory message, so I'm guessing things didn't go so well for me. Such is life. Apparently I've been working to establish a branding consultancy as well. I have no idea why I chose a hippopotamus as the branding tool for my site. Hmm. On Sundays in the fall I play defensive end for the St. Louis Rams. (For those of you who have asked me why I have never put a picture of myself up before, here's your big chance to see how sexy I am.) Congratulations go out to me for earning a Disney Teacheriffic Award in 1999. I also should applaud my weekly radio show "Chapel Time" in central Florida. I don't remember studying for my Doctorate of Ministry, but hey, sometimes I forget things. Looks like I'm also dead, but before dying I published a bunch of papers. My biography was very informative. I had forgotten a lot of that stuff. According to Adam, I also do beadwork, make fine pine furniture and hold several doctorates in everything from computer science to theology. I'm not one to brag, but yeah, I'm pretty impressed with myself right now. Thanks for the laugh Adam.