
This week's honorary Hose Monster: No One
     
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1.10.2003
I've been reading blogs for well over a year now, and have had my own blog for about six months, and after all this time reading and writing, I feel like I know a few bloggers on some level by keeping a close eye on their writing mannerisms, their sense of humor, their image of themselves and the way they interact with other electronic people.
Based on these observations, I'd like to meet some of these people in person for the following reasons.
I mentioned the other day that I would be delighted to some day meet the Crabtree. My intuition is that she and I are similar people and enjoy doing the same kinds of things. Of everyone who I've encountered in the blogosphere, she's the one with whom I feel the most personal connection, which may explain why I seem to write about her all the time. Anyway, I'd love to find out someday if my intuition is true.
I'd like to spend one evening bar-hopping with Sarah's cohort Louisiana. LA and couldn't have more disparate blogs, but we seem to have a similar fun vein running through both of us. I can already imagine the way our evening running around East Lansing would go: her team would repeatedly kick my team's ass at Flippy Cup, we'd spend hours trying to get each other to admit to progressively more horrible things at "I Never" and at some point, we'd probably wind up dancing on top of the bar and doing shots with somebody named Gunther. It would be a good time.
For all the love I have for Tony, I don't think I'd like to meet him. Putting the face to the creative mind, one with which I do not always agree but almost always respect, might destroy the image I have of him, and I like the way it is right now.
I'd sit down and jam on the guitar with Dan the Goose if ever given the opportunity. And for the record, I suck, so he'd play lead and I'll provide the rhythm. Then we'd make stupid Star Wars jokes and wonder why we never get any women, even though we're both really smart and play guitar, clearly the only things chicks want these days.
I'd love to hang out with Heidi Klum. Wait, she doesn't have a blog? Rats. Well, I guess I'd still be okay with meeting her. Maybe she would want to play Parcheesi or something.
I think two hours with the Mox would be a good time, because I have a feeling she suffers from the same inability to remain serious for more than ten minutes at a time. We'd probably have each other laughing, though not uproariously, for two hours. Then we'd grow tired with each other and be good to go without seeing each other for a year, and one of us would get uncomfortable and go to the refrigerator to grab a Zima.
Alfred Pennyworth is my pal, and I am determined to meet him someday, perhaps more than any other blogger. We entered this game at about the same time, and I think he was the only person I didn't know personally who read my blog back in the days when I was excited that seven people were reading Hose Monster on a daily basis. We're probably so completely different, but we have a lot in common (the Raidahs, loathing of the Broncos [or Fucksticks, as he might call them], Southern California and multiple personality disorder) and we would probably be pals. I guess I'll just have to find a way to visit him on Oahu some day. Darn.
And of course, there's Meesh, the one person who truly reminds me of myself sometimes in that she likes to write in such a blunt manner now and again that you don't really know how to respond to her. I get the feeling sometimes that her Meeshness and I would be the type of people who could just sit around and do nothing or get hammered and go skiing mostly naked and it would be the exact same thing to us. She's cool doing nothing, taking impromptu road trips and just hanging out in a pool hall all night sipping a beer and watching guys try to demonstrate their male dominance.
As I get to know, at least in some way, more of you, this list will probably expand.
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