What you didn't know about the Hose Monster: I am a king among men.

I'm not exactly sure why this is, but since I now have great powers, I command each of you to leave a comment saying whatever the hell you want and to consume some form of alcohol today. These are my first edicts, but they'll not be my last.

UPDATE: As always, it's your choice, but in consuming some form of alcohol today, I encourage you not to choose rubbing alcohol as your beverage on this fine Wednesday.