2.12.2003

 
Because I have only been in this class for four minutes and I'm already bored, and since I STILL don't have my computer back and I am tired of complaining about it, I think it will be a good exercise for me to make a list of rumors I would like to start.

Heard while riding on the bus yesterday...

  • No one actually lives in the state of Wyoming.

  • Kid Rock had a beer belly implants placed in his gut because the implants of his girlfriend Pam made him feel inferior.

  • A woman can have too many pairs of shoes.

  • Dutch ovens cure arthritis.

  • Men in their 20s who can name the capital cities of all 50 states in under 5 minutes without any outside information are automatically entered into an annual drawing for a night of drunken naked sexual debauchery with Heidi Klum.

  • Jean Claude Van Dam's bathroom is done all in pink, and Steven Segal will only use purple three-ply toilet paper.

  • The author of 3rd Leg is actually a woman.

  • Victoria's Secret pays me to post pictures of their models and merchandise on this site with great frequency.

  • Tony Danza scored a 1600 on his SATs.

  • With my shirt off, I look like an underwear model.

  • Osama bin Laden is dead.

  • Western Europeans really do hate American capitalist expansion, and they don't really think a trip to McDonald's is all that special.

  • J. Lo and Ben are going to make it.

  • The Olsen twins have started talks with Adult Entertainment Network to develop a two-hour lesbian porno fantasy joyride.

  • The authors of the Kama Sutra were double jointed.

  • Jennifer Love Hewitt and Britney Spears will both pose for Playboy in the next three years.

  • Everything in the Busblog is true.

  • Dick Cheney died in 1995 and has been replaced by a remote-controlled papier-mache robot.

  • The woman who plays Mimi on the Drew Carey Show refuses to wear any undergarment that's not a black lace thong.

  • Keanu Reeves and Freddy Prinze, Jr., are both great character actors.

  • An independent candidate who refuses to attach himself or herself to a major political party could win a major election in this country.

  • 76.4% of high school cheerleading squad captains and 81.2% of homecoming queens polled responded that they wish they had accepted that nerdy boy's invitation to go out some time 10 years ago.

  • Los Angeles does have die-hard sports fans who understand the nuances of their favorite game and care what happens to their team every night.

  • Anna Kournikova is not that hot.

  • Pink lace panties are a standard part of the French military uniform. French President Chirac exercised his presidential privilege to wear a G-string with the French tricolor on the front.

  • Prince Charles is on the next People "50 Most Beautiful People" list.

  • I look strikingly similar to Matt Damon.

  • Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis got in a fight on the set in 1992, but Vern Troyer came over and kicked both their asses.

  • Issues are still important in modern politics, and hostile campaigns are not good for the American elctorate.

  • The more beer you drink, the longer your little Hose Monster can get.

  • Brandon Walsh and Andrea Zuckerman were supposed to have sex on the layout table of the West Beverly Blaze in the pilot episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, but at the last moment, Traci Lords was not available to play the part, and Gabrielle Carteris walked onto the set right as filming was supposed to start, thus changing the Andrea character forever.

  • British dentists are among the world's finest.

  • Michael Jackson is black.