When you author a world famous, hall of fame blog adored by millions, you tend to receive some very interesting attention. And with interesting attention comes interesting email:

Dear Hose Monster:

We are creating a TV pilot about blogging. We want to bring this phenomenon of personal expression to television for the very first time, and have been scouring the web for appropriate sites. Your web site seems like a potentially great fit for the show.

If you would like to be a part of our pilot, you can do so by submitting a video that encapsulates you and your blog.

Whatever you want to say and show in your video is fine. The key is to capture the essence of your blog in video format, and if it's interesting enough, we'll include it.

If this is something that you want to participate in, please go to our web site for more information, and follow the instructions.

[web address omitted]

Thank you so much.

[Anonymous Entertainment Group]

Unfortunately, it appears that they only want to consider entries about "Freedom" at the moment, and I just really do not find myself inclined to talk about freedom, since I haven't ever really blogged about it. But if this certain entertainment group wants to start looking at sex or Vicky's underwear, I will have the first entry for them.

Then I got this one today, an absolute stunner:


I am a Private Investigator based in Europe. A group of Government Officials from an African Country contacted me with a Proposal.

I am to Make contact with you and state their offer, if your Interest is Genuine, you will be Contacted for your Account details to which will be transferred the sum of $45,600,000.00 USD. (20 of which is yours). You are then required to forward the remaining balance (Minus the Interest, handling and tax clearance charges, which Will be offset by Us & Deducted from the transferred sum) to a nominated Bank account in the Cayman Islands.

I don't think I need to spell out the importance of Secrecy in this Matter considering the amount involved. Let me state clearly here that the account that you would be providing does not need to have funds in it and we have choosen a the funds or any clearance demands made on it. It is only needed to be active and be able to receive funds.

So, if I don't hear from you within three days I will assume you are not interested and will solicit for a new partner, but if you know you are interested let me know. List your phone & fax Numbers so we may communicate with you. This is important as we would Have to talk about the modalities of the transaction.

Waiting to hear from you.
yours faithfully
[Anonymous name]

I have no clue how this certain party thought I had an interest in money laundering, but I think if I engaged in such behavior, I might violate the Cornfield College of Law Honor Code, so I think I will refrain this time.

The joys of being a world famous blogger. Har har.