At this point last summer everyone in my office knew of my impending departure for law school, and thus no one ever asked me to do much work or join in on new projects because they did not want to have to fight through team turnover in the fall. Consequently, as I wrapped up more and more of my ongoing work, I found myself increasingly sitting around twiddling my thumbs and looking for things to do.

From those inauspicious origins, Hose Monster came into existence.

Approaching almost a year since those days, I feel occasionally astonished at how much has changed.

No, I shall not take the opportunity to indulge on the passage of time and how much different this year has been from last. I shall not ponder if I have made the most out of the passage of time, or whether my current path can remain true or any of that nonsense.

Instead, I will take the opportunity to talk about my newfound technology obsolescence with my new job, because, shit yo, my working situation is whack.

At my previous job we had top of the line computers with two-year leases on them, so no one really have a computer that suffered too much from time’s passage. Everyone could waste time on the Internet at the same relative high speed as everyone else. But right now I type these words on a Pentium II 233 Mhz computer that takes a long time load Google. GOOGLE! Have you ever seen a more bare-bones web page?

My monitor can only handle resolution at 640 x 800. Can you imagine how big everything looks to me? My monitor can only handle 16 colors. Almost everything non-Microsoft that I look at looks lie that old black and white grainy television with dot matrix-like picture that my dad insisted on saving way back when.

I don’t even have a computer in my office. I have to go sit at a special location to use one. In my office I have a desk probably manufactured circa 1982 and an old desk chair that has button-upholstery. Sometimes I think all I need to do is put on a Bananarama tape on my boom box and everything will suddenly fit together.

Yes, all I need know is a 14.4 dial-up connection, and I will complete the journey back to 1994. How far I have come in a year indeed.