Hose Monster Blog

7.29.2003

Okay dc, I did it.

You see, this morning I played a fun little game with me alarm clock, wherein he starts making quite a bit of noise, I bang him over the head and pretend he never existed, which he accepts for exactly 9 minutes before making a whole bunch of noise again, necessitating another bop on the noggin. This cycle continues for a while until we tire of the game.

Rather unfortunately, I may have indulge Mr. Ringy-poo in his game a little too much this morning. As a consequence, I had no time to make myself a lunch this morning before jaunting off to work.

As the noon hour approached, I thought to myself, "where shall I partake of the Earth's delicious bounty for lunch today?" Of course, I scanned through the normal options in my Rolodex kept for days when I don't have a lunch. Lots of sandwich places, mostly, as I try to eat on a relatively healthy level most of the time, even when my laziness requires me to open my wallet for a meal. Finally, after deciding that a nice turkey and avocado sandwich would go nicely with the Tuesday sun, I started walking to my car.

At which point it hit me.

Following all my posturing, I pretty much owed a duty to myself to sample the one and only McRib, which had currently made a stop in this here town of the Cornfield College of Law. And so I did.

I can now affirmatively say that the McRib does not stand out among the pressed-meat atrocities of this world. Nor can I state, however, that I have formed a desire to join the movement begging McDonald's to bestow upon its boneless sandwich a permanent place in the McFood pantheon of delights.

My McRib tasted okay. Although I did find that the french fries went very well with my reading on child support and one Indiana man's contention that he had artificially inseminated a woman via intercourse. (Sometimes I feel so thrilled to know that I too will have the title of "lawyer" some day.)

But at least now I know what all the people fuss about. And I can now claim to have contributed to the endangered nature of the elusive McRibalope.


This week's honorary Hose Monster: No One Dan the Goose Tom from Orby Online "The Ultimate Renaissance Man" -Kool Keith "I heart hosemonster" -Fat Sarah "Hose Monster = Hero" "The king of political talk" "The voice of reason in all this chaos" -The Ward "A lot of sense" -Orby Online "Writing so good it should be illegal or at least expensive" -Mad Little Ponies Her Meeshness interviews the Hose Monster Another Hose Monster interview with a beautiful girl 80 things about the Hose Monster 20 things about the Hose Monster All Archives Bathroom Conversations Cell Phones Piss Cabin Flushing Magazines Cold Toilet Nohr Nohr 1 Nohr 2 She Inspires Me Old Flames Blue Thong Rain Saturday Morning More Rain Waking Dream Tony Pierce Ultrablognetic Meeshness Moxie Jam Sandwhich Off-Wing Opinion Dan the Goose Mad Pony Ham Fisted Theatrics E-mail Me	7.29.2003 Okay dc, I did it. You see, this morning I played a fun little game with me alarm clock, wherein he starts making quite a bit of noise, I bang him over the head and pretend he never existed, which he accepts for exactly 9 minutes before making a whole bunch of noise again, necessitating another bop on the noggin. This cycle continues for a while until we tire of the game. Rather unfortunately, I may have indulge Mr. Ringy-poo in his game a little too much this morning. As a consequence, I had no time to make myself a lunch this morning before jaunting off to work. As the noon hour approached, I thought to myself, "where shall I partake of the Earth's delicious bounty for lunch today?" Of course, I scanned through the normal options in my Rolodex kept for days when I don't have a lunch. Lots of sandwich places, mostly, as I try to eat on a relatively healthy level most of the time, even when my laziness requires me to open my wallet for a meal. Finally, after deciding that a nice turkey and avocado sandwich would go nicely with the Tuesday sun, I started walking to my car. At which point it hit me. Following all my posturing, I pretty much owed a duty to myself to sample the one and only McRib, which had currently made a stop in this here town of the Cornfield College of Law. And so I did. I can now affirmatively say that the McRib does not stand out among the pressed-meat atrocities of this world. Nor can I state, however, that I have formed a desire to join the movement begging McDonald's to bestow upon its boneless sandwich a permanent place in the McFood pantheon of delights. My McRib tasted okay. Although I did find that the french fries went very well with my reading on child support and one Indiana man's contention that he had artificially inseminated a woman via intercourse. (Sometimes I feel so thrilled to know that I too will have the title of "lawyer" some day.) But at least now I know what all the people fuss about. And I can now claim to have contributed to the endangered nature of the elusive McRibalope.