So the families of the Hose Monster and the Hose Mistress will finally make each other's acquaintance this week, exactly one year after the two of us began our merry journey together. (More accurately, since the Hose Mistress showed a dorky little Hose Monster a little pity and agreed to try out one date). But yes, the parents meet this weekend.


HMstress keeps analogizing to the scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the groom's parents arrive to find the bride's family roasting a pig on the lawn, or something like that (I confess to having never seen the movie, so I do not entirely understand the allusion). She asserts that my family will have that kind of reaction.

I confess to a little trepidation at how my family will come off as well. The Hose Monsters have a bit of a track record of enjoying their time together a little too much and causing too much of a ruckus. Certainly excessive consumption of alcohol has contributed to these moments, along with fancy dinners in a brothel-like setting and the occasional bar fight on St. Patrick's Day resulting in a busted cell phone. Generally we are upstanding, good people, but more conservative types can have trouble adjusting to our, shall we say, energy.

But I would lie if I said I hope the Hose Monster family does not conduct themselves as normal. For one, I will feel sad at not spending the time with my alcoholic family in the manner to which I have grown accustomed. Moreover, I suppose the HMstress' family deserves an honest look at the origins of the mild-mannered and calm boy that spends so much time with their daughter.

But still, I have never felt nervous about anyone ever meeting my family. Ever. And I do feel that way a little bit now. Maybe that means something important, like the HMstress and I are together by destiny's choosing or something. Maybe.

Anyway, wish us luck with the big clashing of the families. Perchance we'll have some interesting stories to share in the near future.