I know it causes the Hose Mistress no small amount of consternation that, after fourteen months and six days of dating, we do not have a song.

Admittedly, I agree with her to some extent that we probably should have some musical theme at this point, some romantic song must have played at some important moment in our relationship. But on a different scale, I have never really had a song with anyone before, so I confess to lacking some of the feeling of urgency to find our own Unchained Melody.

Of course, at some point, assuming things continue on, we'll have to find something to play for the First Dance, so at some point things will have to give.

That I have never had a song with anyone surprises me not at all. No doubt it derives in large part from my previous bouts of unsuccessful relationships lasting exactly two and a half months. Add into that mix sojourns with girls who really had little affection for music on the whole, and the fact that my own musical tastes have historically rotated around one central band that people either don't know or feel saturated with their music, it seems no great shock that I have never had a song.

But tonight as I put the finishing touches on my Income Tax outline (and doesn't that image just make you want to drop everything and enroll in a law school near you?), a song from my playlist rang out that I would love to claim as ours. Too bad it would never work.

"The Rainbow Connection" emanated suddenly from my computer. The Sarah McLachlan version that she recorded last year as part of a new children's record. As much as I love Kermit's version, Sarah's voice and piano put the little green dude to shame.

Between the gorgeousness of the music and Sarah's silky voice and the little feeling of happiness I always get from hearing the song, I could easily see myself feeling a very special attachment to it.

But as I said, it could never happen.

For one thing, I've now talked about it, and so the spontaneity requirement has vanished. If it were to suddenly start playing during some critical moment in our relationship, it would feel contrived.

More problematic for me is the HMstress' unfamiliarity with "The Rainbow Connection." At first learning this, I wondered how she could possibly not know the song. Remembering that I did not become familiar with Kermit's sweet little ditty until my junior year of college (which occurred at the same time that I obsessively scoured Napster for the blond duo Nelson's hit tune "Love and Affection," which certainly belies my musical tastes...) helped me remove the astonishment. But certainly, we couldn't have share a song one of us didn't know very well.

Moreover, I don't know if I could truly visualize dancing with her before a hundred pairs of eyes while a song written by the Muppets played out. But hearing the Sarah McLachlan version certainly does make me think twice.

Anyway, the three something minutes spent listening gave me a pleasant break from the Internal Revenue Code and five minutes of future reverie. No doubt it will occur some time in the near future as my playlist keeps me company while I study for finals.