honorary Hose Monster:
The Blondemaster, whose name has been mysteriously absent from this blog for far too long, emails with a very pressing question:
"Should the Blondemaster make a change to the hair color? Maybe go a little less blond - some low lights or something?"
Let's start with a little background on the Blondemaster to help you picture the situation completely:
As I've said, the Blondemaster is further proof of the general truth that I have very attractive female friends. She's just the right height, has these shocking blue eyes, is tons of fun and an amazingly hard worker. And I learned about a month ago, shortly after waking up very hung over on her couch, that she looks great in a bikini. (I'll admit it, I was checking her out. We're friends, it's cool - she can check me out if she wants.)
And of course, she has this shock of blond hair.
I have not seen her for about a month, but I last remember seeing her right after she had her hair cut. Her hair has good body, and it generally bounces off the top of her head a little before falling with just a bit of a negative slope/curl down to maybe a few inches lower than her jaw line. If I recall correctly, it's of a pretty uniform length all the way around her head. The bangs are long and are more or less integrated into the larger structure of her hair.
Every once in a while, she pulls her hair back into a very short pony tail, or even sort of piles it on top of her head. One day at work she had the piled look going, and she was wearing these little spectacles that perfectly completed the "sophomore in college sitting in her chair at 2 am studying sociology" appearance. She looked fantastic. I'm a sucker for those innocent intellectual looks.
The hair color, I assure you, is natural, though it's beyond bleach blond. The picture of Chrissy gives you an idea, but think more extreme than even that. (And the choice of Chrissy is purposeful, since she actually lives in a Three's Company world. She lives with two of my friends [who don't like me much anymore; they never call, they never write, they never visit. I'm very sad about the whole thing...], one of whom is a gorgeous brunette [also with great hair] and the other, who would be a perfect "ne'er do well" guy if he didn't seem to have his shit so completely together, with the task of striking a balance between the two of them. Their life is one misadventure after another, and every once in a while I have the privilege of playing Larry or Mr. Furley or some other bit character in the drama.)
So now you have an idea of the canvas with which we are working. Sorry for descriptive indulgence. Let's return to the original question: should the Blondemaster tweak the hair color?
To preface, I have very strong opinions about hair. It seriously is one of the first things I notice about a girl. I will NOT date anyone with bad hair, or bland hair, or hair that leaves one without a single remark to make about it. Furthermore, I am generally opposed to hair coloring, just like I am generally opposed to colored contacts or anything else that falsely presents true physical characteristics. When asked for advice on the matter, I have never once advised someone to dye their hair or do anything to it that might unnaturally change the color. No one listens to me, but still, that's the way I vote.
That said, for some strange reason I seem to be strangely attracted to women with slightly altered hair coloring. A few of my ex-girlfriends/flings/lovers will bear that out. Don't know why that's the case exactly, but oh well. So changing hair color is definitely not a turn off to me. Maybe it's just the principle.
Shit, this is supposed to be about the Blondemaster. Back to the question. Again.
First off hun, stay blond. You're a great blonde. I don't know how I would feel about you any other way. I certainly wouldn't know what to call you if you change.
As for bringing the tone of the blond down a little bit ... I dunno. At the very least you'd probably reduce - quite ironically at that - the number of times you get asked if your hair color is natural. And it might look really great. But will it balance with your complexion? Will the darker shade of blond alter the way pink seems to work so well on you? How weird might it look as it grows out? Highlights tend to look a little punky when they grow out; will low lights make you look like you have some spectral glow between your scalp and your hair when they start growing out? I've heard of plenty of people trying to go more blond. I'm not aware of any stories going the other way.
I guess I'd have to offer the absolutely worst comment of saying that I would have to see what it looks like before I sign off on it, which obviously does not help. On the other hand, the fact that I am not coming down strongly on the "don't change it all" side of things may be indicative of the fact that I really think you should. I don't know. Let's throw it out to a vote.
All of you currently reading this: Leave a shout out for the Blondemaster below. Give her your thoughts. Even if you don't give a shit about what she does with her hair, just say something. If she wrangles 10 comments, or even if 10 comments mysteriously appear saying "Aunt Jemima Rules!", I'll take her to dinner at Cracker Barrel next time I see her. She loves Cracker Barrel. And I need an excuse to be seen paying for a girl at dinner, so I don't start feeling like I am a total loser. Don't let us down.
Oh, and feel free to send her some feedback directly. Just don't forget to leave a comment. A night of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and fried okra is at stake.