9.28.2002

 

I have had the amazing fortune to have made out/slept with/hooked up/gone home/dated some amazing people in my day, and in large part, I'm still in contact with most of the people who fall within that list. A few of those people are more noteworthy than others for a variety of reasons, but in some way, each of them will remain a pleasant memory in my nighttime visions.

My last girlfriend is a great example of how I manage to get involved with the coolest ladies.

She and I "broke up" about two months ago, though I hesitate to call it a break up because it was the easiest separation I've ever had and I cannot imagine ever having something that easy happen again. We were both getting ready to start new lives in different corners of the country, so when we started dating, I think both of us knew that we would not be a long-term thing to begin with. But as we got settled into our relationships, we started to learn that we have a lot of little differences, which are flexible if you're not as stubborn as I am, and we want radically different things out of the next five years of our respective lives. So we very amicably decided to go our separate ways when we both moved.

Since that time I've spoken to her or emailed her or some other sort of contact almost every day. I miss her a lot. And while I normally hesitate to say such things, at the moment I feel absolutely comfortably in saying that I consider no one more close to me (outside of my family, but those two categories cannot ever compete against each other). I think our relationship is still a little ambiguous in some ways. Late at night I think about cuddling with her and I imagine what it would be like to walk past certain buildings around here holding her hand. I guess we just mean a lot to each other, even though we both recognize that we'd probably be a failure as a long-term couple, even without potential distance complications.

She reads this blog. So I was a little hesitant about announcing I had a date here (and if I hadn't been so nervous, I certainly would not have, but I needed some way to address that energy) because, well, I wasn't sure how she would react. I know if I found out cute boys were asking her out (which they no doubt are, or are least planning on doing) and she was going out, I'd feel ... well, I don't know how I would feel about it. Not jealous, and not hurt, not disappointed or even forgotten. I don't know. I think I might utter an "oh" and just brood on it for an hour without ever coming to a conclusion on what it means. Very weird. Anyway, I was worried of provoking some similar reaction in her.

Instead she writes me today wanting to know all about my date, and she asks me if "we" like my date. And by we she means both of us, because if I like her, than so does she. She was all smiles when I said I had a great time Thursday night. How cool is that?

Yep, I know some cool people. Don't think that's a reflection on me. Just good luck.

(0) comments

9.26.2002

 

Alfred gives me some unnecessary love, and pulls links to some of my greatest hits. I'm glad I know him (figuratively speaking, of course). He's very nice. And with that, I put a three day moratorium on the Alfred-Hose Monster love fest, lest people think we're sleeping together or something (just to clarify, I leave in a cornfield, he lives in paradise, so no chance of that).

This week just keeps getting weirder. I have something of an impromptu date in about a half an hour. I met the girl last weekend, and we talked about hanging out this week, but it didn't really solidify until this afternoon. It should be fun, I like being social. But damn I'm nervous.

This is really silly, because I really just want to go out and have a good time. Yeah, I'm horny, but I really do just want to have a good time. It's just that it really has been a long time since I've been on a real date. I tend to get involved with my friends, or my colleagues, or people I've known in some context for a while. I'm trying to think of the last time I went on a date with someone I hardly knew, and I'm drawing a blank. My phone rang five minutes ago and my stomach sank because I was sure it was her calling to cancel. It's like being 18 again.

Anyway, wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed that I don't make an ass of myself tonight.

(0) comments

 

Good god: Keanu Reeves as Superman?

Nope, I cannot think of anything worse either.

(0) comments

9.25.2002

 

What I didn't really need to have happen tonight: To come home from the gym, and figuring that I would only be home for 30 minutes tops, to park in the lot with 20 spaces that never has more than 5 filled, take a quick shower, and run back to the parking lot not more than 25 minutes later to find my car gone, towed to a lot roughly a half mile away, then have to book it over to that lot, drop all my beer money for October to get it out of hack, and miraculously arrive just in time for my beer darts match.

What did happen: That.

Sigh. It's been one of those weeks.

(0) comments

 

As my hero Tony Pierce would say, new format of comments for yer ass.

Thanks to Meesh for the recommendation (who by the way, looks damn sexy, even when she wears her skivvies incorrectly).

(0) comments

9.24.2002

 

Sometimes life in the blog world works out well. I have been wanting to write a little post about my pal Alfred, having already determined more or less what I wanted to say, but I haven't had the time. And then he goes and sets the perfect opportunity for me.

Earlier today he had a moment of crisis and sort of wondered why he blogs, feeling that his efforts are random spur of the moment and don't amount to much. Well, I can tell him why he blogs, and I will do so in a moment's time, but I should first explain why I'm giving up a little love to him right now. I owe a large debt of gratitude to Mr. Pennyworth; it's questionable whether this blog would have survived its infancy without his support and patronization. He and I started our blogs at about the same time and for roughly the same reason, and regardless of how much my visits and thoughts have helped him, I know his efforts have greatly aided me in becoming a better blogger.

And yet I am continually astounded how different he and I are. Compare our writing styles some time, the things we write about and the way we write about them. Take those items and formulate sketches of our personalities. You won't find two more disparate characters with divergent interests, including music, hobbies and concerns. Alfred posts in a very spur of the moment matter, whereas I spend all my time in the shower wondering what I am going to write about and maintain a list of topics I'd like to explore at some point. I don't go a week without writing about girls, I cannot remember a single instance of Mr. P doing the same. I don't listen to metal much, and my glam rock collection is pretty much limited to Bon Jovi, but Al could tell you anything and everything you've ever wanted to know about those topics and much more. And on and on. We're two very dissimilar writers and people.

But I visit his blog at least twice a day. I enjoy reading his ramblings, his reviews and anything else he puts up. I get pissed on the weekends when he doesn't post anything because feeling privileged to share a little piece of his thoughts with him is highly enjoyable, whether his thoughts are on Randy Rhodes or Cal football. I read Ultrablognetic because it's there and I enjoy it. So do you, if you're smart enough to read it on a daily basis.

But Alfred does not develop Ultrablognetic because I think it's good. He does it because it is good. And those of us who read it would miss it if it weren't there. So until Alfred stops wanting to blog for his own personal reasons, I argue he cannot worry about blogging poorly for want of ideas or anything. That's his style. He shouldn't worry about what we think, because we visit at our own volition. He should just keep putting up whatever, until he no longer wants to do that. And that's when he has my permission to pull the plug.

---

The last few days have been alternately exciting and terrible. I feel so completely debilitated right now, and yet even with everything through which I am trying to wade, I'm more or less at peace. I've gotten some terrible news and some great news in the last couple of days. I haven't slept more than 4 hours either of the last two nights, and I've had a enjoyable cold, which makes me really want to sleep. And yet I'm getting better (I maintain the best part of my body is my immune system, since I am rarely sick, and when I am, it's very minor. I had mono last year, but I only missed two days of work during that time and most of the other days I was working from 8 am to 11 pm). All I do anymore is work, unless I have my scheduled moments of recreation, and that's not an exaggeration. But it's cool, I'm enjoying it, and the simplicity of my life is enjoyable. I'm doing okay.

Well, the reduced blogging could improve, but hey, life ain't perfect all the time.

(0) comments

9.23.2002

 

I just noticed I spelled the word "scant" last post with a "k" instead of a "c," as required by conventional spelling doctrine. Hooray for drugs.

(0) comments

 

Heavily medicated.

It looks like I managed to pick up a little cold this weekend, and I spent a good part of the day yesterday blowing my nose and making fun congested noises. But with a little help from my friend NyQuil (actually, WalQuil for those likeminded individuals who like to compare ingredients to Vicks NyQuil and save), I drifted right off to sleep last night. In fact, the sleep was of such quality that I woke up at 5 this morning, only to finally drift off again at 7, a skant half hour before I had to wake up. I'm now hopped up on Vitamin C tabs and WalDay, and I'm just worried that today, which is already the longest day of the week, will be just a bit longer.

In that delightful half hour of sleep between 7 and 7:30, I had the strangest dream, perhaps a residual effect from the WalQuil. I remember I was sitting outside my portable building, which had suddenly become my home (and it had five different toilet paper holders installed on the wall in various places, yet the only one without any TP on it was the one right next to the hopper), looking to the north when I noticed a bunch of men on horseback clearing ski runs on a mountain. This in my home town where it has only snowed once in my life, dropping 1.5 inches one morning, which shut the town down completely for lack of snow removal equipment and common sense. Anyway, I watch these twenty or so men, obviously lumberjacks of some other sort of outdoorsmen, riding these great white horses up the runs, down the side of the hill, and back up again, trampling down the trees and clearing space with impressive rapidity. It was sort of like a dance; very fluid, with a unique rhythm observed only by the participants. Of course, it didn't occur to me until this morning when I woke up that these must have been immense horses and men to be doing this work - one rider and horse was as wide as the ski run being cleared. But it seemed perfectly normal at the time.

Then suddenly I'm the back of a taxi spooning with one of my friends (who currently has a boyfriend), she the back spoon and me the front. She was comforting me because I was feeling lonely for some reason or another. The whole ride she was this pair of old blue jeans, completely calming and comforting, and I felt really safe there. But the whole time I also kept thinking that I should not feel that way because of the whole boyfriend thing, but finally I just said "ah, screw it" to myself and relaxed. That was the best part of the dream, which of course is when my alarm clock decided it was time we got going.

I cannot wait for tonight's adventures. In the meantime, I'm going to try and sit quietly through 5 hours of class today and not say anything, because what might seem brilliant to my medicated mind will probably be the intellectual equivalent of 2+2=5.

(0) comments